So, Mr. Grizz was having a bad day yesterday, and I was pretty convinced in the morning that it might be his last. He just didn't want to eat, and he had barely eaten at all the day before so I was crying all morning at work (I'm at a vet clinic now, I don't think I've mentioned that yet) and the doc who's been seeing him (whom I affectionately refer to as ER Dad) told me to bring him in, so we could go over options and see if there wasn't a way to help him.

I was worried it would be time to say goodbye, but we're going to try to hang in there a little longer. His heart is good (which is honestly the thing I expected him to have troubles with given he's a pom) so we're going to increase his subcutaneous fluid intake, and we put him on an antiemetic in hopes he'd eat better. He ate okay today, but I had to literally feed him out of the palm of my hand.

I don't know if I'm being selfish and trying to make him hang on longer than he wants to, or if it would be more cruel if I elected to make a life ending decision before it's time, but I feel like either way I'll be living with the guilt for a really long time.

But he's not my only worrisome puppy...

Naughty little Sawyer got into the trash today and ate last night's chicken, bones and all. So I took her in to induce vomiting. 

These damn dogs are going to put me in the poor house. 

 Short one today, even though I was unable to make a post yesterday. It is a bit hard to work 10 hours, make food, take care of the critters, and still have the mental energy to try to do anything but veg out and hope to unwind. So this post is just going to be a quick list of just a few things I've got going on.

My mail in ballot finally came in. I'll admit things have been looking pretty damn bleak political wise lately. It's easy to feel as if the whole system is fucked, but not doing anything sure as hell isn't going to fix it. I'd like to get more involved; casting a vote is the least I can do.

It's starting to get cold. It's still very warm in the afternoons, but last night's cold snap withered some of my veggie garden's plants.

I planted way too many tomatoes this year. But! As a result, I have learned to make tomato sauce from scratch, and it is pretty damn good. I used what is very likely to be the last large batch of the season to make tonight's spaghetti. Yum!

Grizz has renal disease. He's doing okay, but his bloodwork doesn't look good. Phosphorous, creatinine, and BUN levels are all elevated. The poor little guy has lost weight, and he'd rather starve (literally) than eat health food. I've given up on trying to get him to eat his prescription diet, and have instead been making him simple meals with low phosphorous ingredients. Probably not ideal long term, but realistically he doesn't really *have* a long term. I'd rather him be happy in the time he has left. The meds he's on seem to be keeping him fairly comfortable for now.

I decided to take a bit of time off early November. I don't have any money to take a real vacation, but there are some projects I'm hoping to work on that I'll talk about more later

I need to go through all my old icons. I had some really fun ones, and if I'm going to be using this journal more often, I should have plenty of opportunity to use them again ^_^

 I've been meaning for sometime to dust off the cobwebs, and start using this journal.

But it seemed like A Lot.

A lot has happened since I frequently posted in my lj. I'm a bit rusty, and not sure where to begin.

So I'm gonna take baby steps while I reacquaint myself with expressing myself through written word.

I'm really hoping it will get easier to write again if I just start doing it, so apologies for the "small talk."

I hope I have meaningful things to say, but right now I'm gonna settle for just saying something.

Also, I'm gonna be looking for some friends/journals to follow. Don't exactly know where to get started there either. Unfortunately "making friends" was never a skill I quite figured out in my developing years, and it's still something I'm horribly awkward at. Guess I'll start looking for active communities to participate in, maybe do some friending memes. 

…Or I'll just keep typing into the void. 

It's probably is safer that way.